If you had emotionally immature parents, it took a toll on you. Emotional loneliness and self-doubts are common results of having such parents. They were so wrapped up in their own issues that they neglected your needs for connection, attention, and admiration —even expecting you to make them feel better.
You can free yourself from the depleting role of catering to the needs of the emotionally immature. Once you understand how these immature people function, you will no longer feel guilty or ashamed for not always putting them first. You will learn how to reconnect with your true self and live more authentically, while interacting with others in ways that keep you from becoming emotionally drained. You will also start to use the disappointments of your early life as fuel for your own adult transformation, while building skills in recognizing those all-important emotionally mature people who can help you where you want to go.
This book has been a New York Times bestseller and a long-standing Amazon category leader with over 27K reviews and a 5 star rating. It has sold over 1.5 million copies, and has been translated and published into 37 languages.
In Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, I answered a question that has intrigued me for years: why do so many outpatient psychotherapy clients seem so much more together and self-aware than their family members? Realizing that many of my clients’ family members were highly emotionally immature, I set out to explore and explain their hurtful interactions in a way that could free people to live their own best lives without being worn out by these draining personalities. By understanding our loved ones’ emotional immaturity, we can regain our trust in ourselves and get free from the destructive and confusing effects of early programming from childhood.
In my first book, Who You Were Meant To Be, I focused on how people can reconnect with their true self and sense of purpose. I have devoted my professional life to helping people learn how to rely on their own emotional guidance, strengthen their self-awareness, and increase their energy for full living.
After obtaining two independent graduate degrees in clinical psychology – Master’s and Doctorate degrees – I became licensed as a clinical psychologist in the Commonwealth of Virginia. For many years I was also an Assistant Adjunct Professor for the College of William and Mary and Old Dominion University, teaching doctoral clinical psychology students. In my over thirty years of being a psychotherapist, I have specialized in adult psychotherapy and personal growth coaching, as well as extensive experience in doing personality and intellectual evaluations. My in-depth psychodynamic training helped me understand people’s problems from a developmental perspective, leading to my livelong fascination with the striking differences between adults in their levels of psychological maturity.
I came to clinical psychology from a background in art and literature. Beginning in college as a studio art major, I briefly switched to psychology, where I was disappointed to find an emphasis on animal experimentation instead of understanding people. Seeking to explore human nature, I finally found what I was looking for in English literature, where human desire and motivation could be studied endlessly. Finally in my senior year, a developmental psychology class introduced me to the field of clinical psychology, providing the scientific fascination I had been seeking.
As an avid student of human behavior, I enjoy sharing my excitement of learning with clients, colleagues, and readers of my books. I love translating specialized academic, philosophical, and clinical knowledge into something that we can all use. Every day there is some new discovery or awareness I am eager to tell readers about.
I enjoy my work and writing in the seaside city of Virginia Beach, where the ocean is an everyday reminder to expand our enjoyment of living.
Adult Children of Adult Emotionally Immature Parents. How To Heal From Distant Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD. It is a book my counselor suggested that I read. This is a book that describes how emotionally immature parents negatively affect their children, especially children who are emotionally sensitive, and shows you how to heal yourself from the pain and confusion that come from having a parent who refuses emotional intimacy. I found it to be very eye opening and the subject matter painful at times. However, through it all I learned a lot.
Writing this book for Lindsay has been a personal and professional dream come true where she has been eager to share her ideas with her. She didn’t realize how many caring and supportive people would make her dream come a reality. That support they gave her went way beyond writing this book.
Reading this book you will see why people who grew up with emotionally immature parents often feel loneliness. Lindsay shares multiple stories of her patients and gives an in-depth look into their situation. You will also explore characteristics of emotionally immature parents and types of t relationships they cause. Lindsay includes checklists to help you identify parents' emotional immaturity.
Lindsay describes four main types of emotional immature parents and will assist you in identifying which type of parenting you may have had.
What I found interesting was emotional loneliness comes from not having enough emotional intimacy with other people. It can start from childhood, due to feeling emotionally unseen by self-preoccupied parents, or can arise in adulthood when an emotional connection is lost.
Then emotional intimacy is someone who can tell anything to someone who you can share your feelings with about anything and everything. Someone you feel totally safe to open to. It only works when someone does and not Judge you.
Both emotional loneliness and emotional intimacy hit the nail on the head on so many levels.
Parents who are emotionally immature are self preoccupied that they don't notice their children’s inner experiences. They discount their feelings and fear emotional intimacy. They’re uncomfortable with their own emotional needs and have no idea how to offer support on an emotional level! This also hit the nail on the head in many ways!
Lacking parental connections/support many emotionally deprived children are eager to leave childhood behind. They jump into adulthood prematurely, getting jobs as soon as they can, becoming sexually active, marrying early, or joining the service. They look forward to adulthood, believing it offers freedom with a chance to belong.
There is so much to learn from Lindsay and this book! I found it to be very informative, well researched, and well written. For me it was very relatable on many levels. I am glad my counselor suggested it.
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